The Funny Pages
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Yes, I am aware that I have too much time on my hands.I'm done now.
Oh Lilac - please don't be done now! You make me smile.
What Exactly Is Marriage?
"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents" -Eric, six years old
How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." -Kelly, nine years old
"My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what I'll do....I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -Carolyn, eight years old
Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife" -Bert, five years old
What Do Most People Do on a Date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -Martin, ten years old
When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." -Allan, ten years old
The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them" -Anita, nine years old
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -Will, seven years old
"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents" -Eric, six years old
How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." -Kelly, nine years old
"My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what I'll do....I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -Carolyn, eight years old
Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife" -Bert, five years old
What Do Most People Do on a Date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -Martin, ten years old
When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." -Allan, ten years old
The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them" -Anita, nine years old
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -Will, seven years old
Wife: Theres trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.
Husband: Water in the carburetor? Thats ridiculous.
Wife: I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.
Husband: You dont even know what a carburetor is. Wheres the car?
Wife: In the swimming pool.
Husband: Water in the carburetor? Thats ridiculous.
Wife: I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.
Husband: You dont even know what a carburetor is. Wheres the car?
Wife: In the swimming pool.
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Oh pish posh! If you do things like that before the marriage what are you going to do after?
Just agree to marry, shake hands, smack helmets etc and get married.
Just agree to marry, shake hands, smack helmets etc and get married.
Oh pish posh! If you do things like that before the marriage what are you going to do after?Just agree to marry, shake hands, smack helmets etc and get married.
After, you get creative to keep the romance in your marriage. That way it lasts a lifetime like it was intended to.
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As someone who has planned and executed an elaborate proposal that involved people from multiple states and time zones I somewhat know the difficulty the groom-to-be had getting that to go off that well.
But the best part of the whole thing was the dance interpretation of "dancing juice". That made me clap and smile.
But the best part of the whole thing was the dance interpretation of "dancing juice". That made me clap and smile.
Wuzznt Me's philosophy worked for a quarter of a century for my late husband and I. Just sayin ...
Don't know what I'm going to think, if I can think at all. I just know it's been working very well for us for the best 40 years of my life.
Right now I'm wondering how this conversation wound up in a thread called the funny pages. I'm done with the hijack.
With all these cartomizers I've collected, I've got more nipples than a dairy farm!
(C'mon, folks, get your mind out of the gudder.)
(C'mon, folks, get your mind out of the gudder.)
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