The Funny Pages
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a little racy but one of the better jokes I have heard in a while 
AN ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION
'Bless me Father, for I have sined
I have been with a loose girl.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Jay Maoilini
Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to
ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Jay, I'm sure to find out her name
sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Rosanne Christopher Squillante? 'I cannot say.' '
Was iis Moira Hefernan Salvatore?
I'll never tell.'
Was it MaryJaner Synder Paletta
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
Was It Jenny Miller from the Block?
I would NEVER say
Was i t Barbara DiLididdo Montamarano? 'My Lips are seale 'Was it Angela Dino, Please, Father, I cannot tell you.' The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I am sureed you sinned and here is your penance... You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 monthd and Now you go and behave yourself back to your pew.
Hiis friend Frank Forte slides over and
whispers,
'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
AN ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION
'Bless me Father, for I have sined
I have been with a loose girl.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Jay Maoilini
Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to
ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Jay, I'm sure to find out her name
sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Rosanne Christopher Squillante? 'I cannot say.' '
Was iis Moira Hefernan Salvatore?
I'll never tell.'
Was it MaryJaner Synder Paletta
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
Was It Jenny Miller from the Block?
I would NEVER say
Was i t Barbara DiLididdo Montamarano? 'My Lips are seale 'Was it Angela Dino, Please, Father, I cannot tell you.' The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I am sureed you sinned and here is your penance... You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 monthd and Now you go and behave yourself back to your pew.
Hiis friend Frank Forte slides over and
whispers,
'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
Thanks again for sharing this with us. The last few days he's been all over the news and entertainment shows, and I was happy that I knew what the heck they were talking about thanks to you
The topic for today on another thread is babies so please bear with me today! Personally I like them!!!!
Guy walks into a dentist's office.
Dentist: "May I help you?"
Guy: "I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "Well, then, you need to see a psychiatrist."
Guy: "I know that."
Dentist: "So why'd you'd come in here?"
Guy: "The light was on..."
Dentist: "May I help you?"
Guy: "I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "Well, then, you need to see a psychiatrist."
Guy: "I know that."
Dentist: "So why'd you'd come in here?"
Guy: "The light was on..."
A preacher, a doctor, and a lawyer are playing a round of golf. There's a foursome in front of them that is taking forever on each hole and they are getting more and more aggravated about it. Finally they see a groundskeeper and they ask him what's going on with that terrible foursome in front of them.
The groundskeeper tells them: "Oh, those are four blind firemen. They were all injured while rescuing a bunch of children from a burning school. The owner lets them play here for free because one of the children was his son."
The preacher says: "Oh my, that's terrible. I shall be sure to pray for them!"
The doctor says: "That is terrible indeed! I will ask some of my colleagues if there's anything we can do for them!"
The lawyer says: "Why can't they play at night?"
The groundskeeper tells them: "Oh, those are four blind firemen. They were all injured while rescuing a bunch of children from a burning school. The owner lets them play here for free because one of the children was his son."
The preacher says: "Oh my, that's terrible. I shall be sure to pray for them!"
The doctor says: "That is terrible indeed! I will ask some of my colleagues if there's anything we can do for them!"
The lawyer says: "Why can't they play at night?"
When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who
just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not
dried out. Give this a try.
BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN
6-7 lb. Chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn ( ORVILLE REDENBACHER 'S LOW FAT) salt/pepper to
taste
_____________________________
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt,
and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with
the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's .... blows the oven door
open and the chicken flies across the room, it's done.
And, you thought I couldn't cook.........
just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not
dried out. Give this a try.
BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN
6-7 lb. Chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn ( ORVILLE REDENBACHER 'S LOW FAT) salt/pepper to
taste
_____________________________
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt,
and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with
the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's .... blows the oven door
open and the chicken flies across the room, it's done.
And, you thought I couldn't cook.........
AAAAAAACK!! That poor, sweet baby! How on earth could that horrible, cruel owner just stand there with his idiot video cam and not HELP that poor sweet little guy!!!
You know the helpless puppy is thinking the same thing, as he pauses and stares directly into the camera whimpering and pleading for help!!!A few seconds is funny; but that long -- 8-o Somebody fetch me a bullwhip, there's a dog owner I need to train!
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AAAAAAACK!! That poor, sweet baby! How on earth could that horrible, cruel owner just stand there with his idiot video cam and not HELP that poor sweet little guy!!!
A few seconds is funny; but that long -- 8-o Somebody fetch me a bullwhip, there's a dog owner I need to train!
View attachment 137905
AMEN!! poor little baby
Whats this boat she keeps talking about? - Rose
Dont worry Rose, you missed it. - Dorothy
Dont worry Rose, you missed it. - Dorothy
OK I really don't know how to do this.
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