You know the difference between a cat and a dog?
A dog sees you open doors for it, give it food and water and love in general, and thinks to itself, "That two legger must be a god!"
A cat sees you do those things and it thinks, "I must be a god."..
The difference is:
If a dog comes into the kitchen and sees you on the ground dying of a heart attack, he thinks, "Oh no, master is in trouble, I better go get help."
If a cat comes into the kitchen and sees you on the ground dying of a heart attack, he thinks, "Well I'm not getting any food from this fu**er, I better go find someone else to feed me."

, didn’t bother to notify the niece there was an animal in the house. (Evil human!!!) She’s currently 3 pounds overweight, and shaved from the shoulders to her tail tip because she’s too hefty to groom her long hair. Hopefully she finds us to her liking and we can give her happy, love filled rest of her years.