You know the difference between a cat and a dog?
A dog sees you open doors for it, give it food and water and love in general, and thinks to itself, "That two legger must be a god!"
A cat sees you do those things and it thinks, "I must be a god."..
The difference is:
If a dog comes into the kitchen and sees you on the ground dying of a heart attack, he thinks, "Oh no, master is in trouble, I better go get help."
If a cat comes into the kitchen and sees you on the ground dying of a heart attack, he thinks, "Well I'm not getting any food from this fu**er, I better go find someone else to feed me."