Okay, bad joke warning. This is a variation on one that I first saw in a wonderfull book put together back in the 60s by some of the folks transplanted up here by the air force called "July, August and Winter" but I was too lazy to type that one out again. For all of you people who aren't used to much winter but are suffering
through it this year.
60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. North Dakotans plant gardens.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in North Dakota.
40 above zero: Import cars won't start. People in North Dakota drive with the sunroof open.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in North Dakota gets thicker.
20 above zero: New Mexicans put on long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. People in North Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in North Dakota have one last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero
eople in Miami all die. People in North Dakota close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in North Dakota dig their winter coats out of storage.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in North Dakota still selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in North Dakota let their dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in North Dakota get upset because the mini-van won't start.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in North Dakota can be heard to say, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. North Dakota public schools open 2 hours late.
Not true - they would open on time
Hang in there, only a few more months until spring!
GO HAWKS!! 
My husband thought I was losing it - but even though I didn't want a cigarette - it did smell good ........
