As much as you can prepare mentally, when it happens you are never prepared enough. Love to @2legsshrt . We are here.
Older Folks and Vaping Back Porch - Part Seven
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@2legsshrt, Pat, I'm so sorry to hear of Ginny's passing. It was nice to hear that you were able to talk with her the other day. I know you wanted to be with her, but she knows that you did all you could. Take care, my friend.
@2legsshrt . . .
There are absolutely no words that can truly express the sorrow and grief upon reading that your one and only beloved "Ginny" has died . . .
Please know that I am sending "YOU" and your family "My" Sincerest Heartfelt Condolences . . .
.
There are absolutely no words that can truly express the sorrow and grief upon reading that your one and only beloved "Ginny" has died . . .
Please know that I am sending "YOU" and your family "My" Sincerest Heartfelt Condolences . . .
.
I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm afraid I won't be able to walk. I don't know what I'm going to do then. If I can't walk I am screwed. I have to be able to walk. I was laying here and it all of a sudden struck me I can't walk. I had Ginny before now she is gone. She was my strength, my rock so to speak. If I couldn't walk she was my legs. I don't know what I'm going to do. I really wish I was dead, but I don't have enough guts todo it. I feel so worthless I have nothing left. I'm scared to death about this. What am I going to do. I just can't believe she is gone. She has always been there for me. She was my life and now I have none. I thought she ould always be there. It never even crossed my mind that she would die.
{{{{Patrick}}}} Ginny's passing has been quite a gut kick to you. Be kind to yourself and take some time to grieve, but please, dwell on celebrating the wonderful aspects of Ginny's life. The ground beneath you may have shattered, but it's still there. Ginny may have been your rock, but you are your own mountain and you can and should carry on. You are supposed to get new prosthetics this week right? So you will be able to walk or get around in a wheelchair. Many people get along fine without legs, they just have to make adjustments and there is help. Talk this over with your family and ask about support groups in your area. The social worker where you are should be able to direct you to sources that can help. You will be able to figure it out and you may even be able to help others. In the meantime we'll keep sending your our prayers and strength and love.
What would Ginny want you to do? Would she want you to give up? Or to live, to hopefully regain some mobility with your new legs, and to be there for your kids and grandkids? To share your grief with them and theirs with you, and to all go forward remembering the good?
Patrick, Hospice Care offers counseling services for the spouses of their patients. Talk to them and use all of the benefits they offer. Here they even hosted a monthly lunch for the survivors. You don't have to give up. You are stronger than that.
Legs, I posted this to the FP last night but I realize now you won't be checking in there for a while so thought I'd post it over here in hopes you'll see it and realize that all of us are grieving with you and are concerned about you.
@2legsshrt, I was heartbroken to hear of Ginny's passing today and it's hard to put into words how deeply sorry I am for you.
I've caught a bit of what's been going on with you and Ginny on the BP and now I regret not chiming in earlier to express my encouragement and sympathy. Please don't even think that anything that's happened, to you or to her, is in any way your fault. Do what it takes to get better and get yourself to the other side of the Cascades, there's a very special little dog over there that needs you. I'm sure Ginny was fully expecting you to take care of it in her absence, it's what she wanted you to do now.
I have no words of wisdom over the loss of a loved one, I never handled it well. Most of those close to me that passed on were in their late 90s and while still tough, they had a good run. I still ache for those friends that have passed away before their time, not one of them deserved it.
Our last dog was one of the great loves of my life and I firmly believe the emergency vet we took him to killed him to cover up her incompetency. Our regular vet agrees. What helped me to a degree was to light a tea candle in a special holder every night for him. When I can't use a candle (hotel room or whatever), I use a battery operated one. I've been doing it a month and a half shy of nine years now. Perhaps dumb but that little ritual has sustained me for years.
Legs, just know that the "Flaming Tutu" sends you her deepest, sincerest condolences. I can't imagine the pain you are in right now but dearly wish you a full recovery and that you find a way to keep on going, so many people love you including those of us on the porches.
Keep in touch in when you are able or pass the word on to somebody else who can post here.
Sincerely, Lisa
@Iffy, thank you so much for posting this, it must have been difficult.
@2legsshrt, I was heartbroken to hear of Ginny's passing today and it's hard to put into words how deeply sorry I am for you.
I've caught a bit of what's been going on with you and Ginny on the BP and now I regret not chiming in earlier to express my encouragement and sympathy. Please don't even think that anything that's happened, to you or to her, is in any way your fault. Do what it takes to get better and get yourself to the other side of the Cascades, there's a very special little dog over there that needs you. I'm sure Ginny was fully expecting you to take care of it in her absence, it's what she wanted you to do now.
I have no words of wisdom over the loss of a loved one, I never handled it well. Most of those close to me that passed on were in their late 90s and while still tough, they had a good run. I still ache for those friends that have passed away before their time, not one of them deserved it.
Our last dog was one of the great loves of my life and I firmly believe the emergency vet we took him to killed him to cover up her incompetency. Our regular vet agrees. What helped me to a degree was to light a tea candle in a special holder every night for him. When I can't use a candle (hotel room or whatever), I use a battery operated one. I've been doing it a month and a half shy of nine years now. Perhaps dumb but that little ritual has sustained me for years.
Legs, just know that the "Flaming Tutu" sends you her deepest, sincerest condolences. I can't imagine the pain you are in right now but dearly wish you a full recovery and that you find a way to keep on going, so many people love you including those of us on the porches.
Keep in touch in when you are able or pass the word on to somebody else who can post here.
Sincerely, Lisa
@Iffy, thank you so much for posting this, it must have been difficult.
First I wanted to thank you all for what you have said. Then I wanted to let you know what I finally figured out. Ginny planned on dying that night my denial got in the way of seeing. She had tumors in her brain they were hurting so bad alll day she had to take the morphine on more then once an hour. She fought it all day trying not to hurt. Becaue she went on Hospice they did no treatments just tried to make her comfortable. She knew she couldn't beat it and when she went to bed she knew she wasn't going to wake up. Her last words to me were I love you. This cancer she had was so aggressive and she couldn't take it anymore. I understand why she went on Hospice now. Her cancer was hurting her o bad it wa all she could do to was try to stay ahead of the pain. She could've gone the othehr route with surgery which would've given her maybe a little longer but she knew it was going to kill her in the end. She was a brave probably the bravest person I have ever known. She didn't want to be a needy person and decided to give in right after trying about 3 different treatments. Thenn she realized it was all over. She just sat at the kitchen table and fought the pain all day. then after taking a lot of drugs decided to just give up and went to bed. She had such an agressive strain of cancer she wanted it to be over. So she was very against suicide which this was not but she did know if she did it this way. She took the hard way and let the cancer have it's way. My denial was so strong I couldn't see what she was doing she didn't want to worry me so went this way.I don't believe I was denying this for this long. She did what she did so as not to become a burden on anyone. Always thinking of the others first. She was a one of a kind. I could never find anoother and won't even try. She was my once in a lifetim getting to be with someone like here. Ginny I loved you so much and so deeply will spent the rest of my life being thankful for my 1 shot at hapiness and I got it. It took me this long to figure this out. What a wonderful person she was.
to RL. I' goiing to be working on walk it es vurting.
I hope I am making the right move in going to my daughters. She has a lot of stairs to get in or out. I'm going to find something else. I'm hoping that a it won't be hard to find assisted living somewhere. I don't know how difficult it will be to find a place. I think I should've found a place befor it came to this point. One thing her husband fancies himselt as a gourmet chef and mkes a pretty good meal or 2 but I'm a fraid of me moving there and not get out if I needed to. So its either try and fight it , find another place right away, or move back to my hhouse in Spokane..The one thing about Spokane is it has grown in size and population but no whaere near what it did on the other side of the mountains. We'll just have to see. I'm off to a slow start today have to get moving.
I hope I am making the right move in going to my daughters. She has a lot of stairs to get in or out. I'm going to find something else. I'm hoping that a it won't be hard to find assisted living somewhere. I don't know how difficult it will be to find a place. I think I should've found a place befor it came to this point. One thing her husband fancies himselt as a gourmet chef and mkes a pretty good meal or 2 but I'm a fraid of me moving there and not get out if I needed to. So its either try and fight it , find another place right away, or move back to my hhouse in Spokane..The one thing about Spokane is it has grown in size and population but no whaere near what it did on the other side of the mountains. We'll just have to see. I'm off to a slow start today have to get moving.
Just look at any move for now as temporary, Pat. Having a safe landing place with your daughter, at least for now and in spite of the stairs, is a good thing. Take your time to find a good place to be, don't rush into anything for now.
Yep, like David's saying ... take it 1 step at a time. Don't try to figure out ahead of time if it's going to work out long term. Take advantage of having a place to go and re-evaluate it once you've been there awhile.
It's a relief to know you understand what went on. I'm so sorry she's gone. You have some big changes coming up. Please don't try to rush into action. Take your time to heal & grieve. Talk to your family before making big decisions. You know we love you & are here for you, dear one.
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{{{{Patrick}}}} I totally agree with Iffy and Kenna. It is such a relief to know that you've got things figured out. And they're right about not making any decisions immediately. Give yourself a little time and then talk things over with your family. I'm sure that's the same advice you'd be giving anyone else in your place. Plus, you'll need a little time to get used to your new legs. Meanwhile, we're all still pulling for you!
Thank you so much. I seem to think it is getting easier then it is all of a sudden. Thes move to th west sideI'm going to check it out. My daughters want me to make it we are going to head over Friday. They've taken everything out of my house so I couldn't go there if I wanted to. Don't know if I like that but it is done. I will look but for assisted living in a studio or 1 bedrm is $2000 a month. I will have to look around and that is the lowest price I've heard so far. Now I'm going thru a stage of not knowing if I can do this without Gin. I am worried. Crazy maybe but thats me.
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