Not some of my best work, but I thought some might enjoy...
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through ECF
Not a poster was stirring, not even a mod;
The wick and wire were waiting by the fireplace with care,
In hopes that their new Nauti 5 soon would be there;
The ECF’rs were pacing the floors with dread,
Visions of their new shinnies’ danced in their heads;
The Ladies in their 'kerchiefs, and Men in their cap,
Had not settled down for their regular nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
They sprang to see what was all the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The sun was abreast of the new-fallen snow
It gave the lustre of mid-day to the shinnies’ below,
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But their long waited USPS driver - he was now using reindeer,
With a little old driver, not so lively and not so quick,
They knew in a moment that this sure wasn’t no St. Nick.
Faster than a China Delivery his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, ! now, DELIVERY! now, PACKAGE and ADDRESSEE!
On, SERVICE! on STAMP! on, SCANNED and TRACKER!
To the top of the driveway! to the mail box we go!
Now dash away! dash away! to the next house by the snow!"
As smokeless vapor that swirled around and around,
Never a doubter, could hardly be ever found ,
So up to my own mail box the reindeer flew,
With the sleigh of shinies, and the USPS Driver too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard like a spoof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I vaped on what was in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the sidewalk the USPS driver came with a bound.
He was dressed all in khaki’s, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of shinnies’’ he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a modder dressed in what was not tact.
His eyes were squinting as his lungs became full!
His cheeks puffed as he blew clouds like a bull
His mouth was drawing up for another vape,
And his chest was expanding till it had all it could take;
The Provari topped with a Nauti he held tight in his fist,
The vapor encircled his head as he checked his list;
He had a broad face and a big old belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, as delivery men are,
And I laughed when I saw him, even from afar;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the tanks; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, all coils were wicked and clean as a rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-VAPE-NIGHT!