Older Folks and Vaping Back Porch - Part Seven

[2legsshrt]

Yep that's what I learned with 3 on the tree. It's amazing how many people can't even drive a stick. When I used to drive 140 mile round trp to work, that's what yu got the mileage with. I had a Geo Metro 50+ mpg. Tiny engine and a 5 speed. Sounded like a tuna can when you closed the doors but damn that thing got the mileage. Wouldn't want to get in a wreck with it definitely 0 protection but really great little car on gas. I traded that car in on a Honda Civic that was specifically made for mpg. Drove that car for over 20 years. It actually felt like you had a car and got over 50 mpg. It was the VX model. I think they only made them for a couple years. Plenty of power and super high geared. Seems like the gearing in that at 70 in high gear it was only turning around 1800 RPM. Maybe 2000. Put 170K on that one and even tho I was driving the distances I was driving back and forth it was still a cheap ride. It had plenty of poop too. I don't think they went over real well because they just weren't built for comfort or noise factor, I never had a problem with it, but it was definiteyl a drive to work car. Could never belive the dependablility. Just kept of running. Great in the snow also.

 

[2legsshrt]

Has anyone felt like they were going crazy. I don't know what is happening to me but I feel so strange and it' scaring me and Ginny. I just feel like I'm losing control of my head. A very weird feeling for sure. It happened last night at this time also. I just don't feel right at all. It's very hard to explain. Wouldn't even know where to start. It's like I feel like I'm losing control and not able to get it back. I wander what it is like to to get started having one for the old folks problems, or if it some kind of thing from being in the nursing home. I took.75 mg of amitryptaline and I'm starting to feel better.

 

[3mg Meniere]

Like we always say, go see a professional. If only to get reassurance that what is going on is normal for someone in your situation. Take your meds. I have med-time alarms on my fitbit, kindle, and laptop. I haven't missed meds for a week, and I am feeling much better.

A friend of mine and I were having a laughter session yesterday over my chemo brain. She is significantly older than me and was a nursing home aide. Ageing happens, just like chemo brain.

I went to the gym yesterday, did a mild workout, intending to reserve some energy for cleaning my apartment. Came to two conclusions; 1. Clean apartment, then go to gym. 2. I need to hire someone to do some of the bigger stuff.

 

[Janet H]

Has anyone felt like they were going crazy. I don't know what is happening to me but I feel so strange and it' scaring me and Ginny. I just feel like I'm losing control of my head. A very weird feeling for sure. It happened last night at this time also. I just don't feel right at all. It's very hard to explain. Wouldn't even know where to start. It's like I feel like I'm losing control and not able to get it back. I wander what it is like to to get started having one for the old folks problems, or if it some kind of thing from being in the nursing home. I took.75 mg of amitryptaline and I'm starting to feel better.

Definitely mention this to the doc and it would help if Ginny was there as well to voice what she has observed. Could be from the meds?

 

[Kenna]

Has anyone felt like they were going crazy. I don't know what is happening to me but I feel so strange and it' scaring me and Ginny. I just feel like I'm losing control of my head. A very weird feeling for sure. It happened last night at this time also. I just don't feel right at all. It's very hard to explain. Wouldn't even know where to start. It's like I feel like I'm losing control and not able to get it back. I wander what it is like to to get started having one for the old folks problems, or if it some kind of thing from being in the nursing home. I took.75 mg of amitryptaline and I'm starting to feel better.

Could it be a reaction to a med?

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[2legsshrt]

I don't know what is going on. Somehow I am not the same person I was when I went in. My advice is don't go into a nursing home. I just feel permanently changed. I don't like it at all. I don't feel like me anymore. I sort of feel instatutionalized. 1 month of laying in bed with 2 hours out for PT. Just laying there looking out a window watching tv. Actually like I'm dependant on others. I don't like this feeling at all. I just don't know what happened to me in my month but it wasn't good. I feel like I feel like I should still be there. But I don't want to be there any more. I have to go to my PCP on Friday but I tried to go completely without tranqs today. What I did was screw myself up. I normally take 1 in the am and 1 in the evening. I went completely without this am and started really feeling weird. Who'd of thunk it. Didn't think it would bother me at all. Wrong I felt so weird at 1 in the afternoon I had to take 1 and it worked fine. It's way worse then the pain meds. I'll hav to find another method for sure.This little fall really messed me up. I finally start my PT tomorrow. This shoulder is really holding me back Gotta get it loosened up and get some strength back in it. It definately is true the older you get the longer it takes to get things working right Can't afford too many more of these mishaps for sure. I don't feel like I'm going to be right for quite a while.

 

[Kenna]

.

 

[Kenna]

I don't know what is going on. Somehow I am not the same person I was when I went in. My advice is don't go into a nursing home. I just feel permanently changed. I don't like it at all. I don't feel like me anymore. I sort of feel instatutionalized. 1 month of laying in bed with 2 hours out for PT. Just laying there looking out a window watching tv. Actually like I'm dependant on others. I don't like this feeling at all. I just don't know what happened to me in my month but it wasn't good. I feel like I feel like I should still be there. But I don't want to be there any more. I have to go to my PCP on Friday but I tried to go completely without tranqs today. What I did was screw myself up. I normally take 1 in the am and 1

I've been in rehab 3 times, & stuck in the hospital once for a month. I know how you feel. The hospital for a month & then rehab for a month, & all doped up the whole time took some getting over, just to do more hospital h rehab 6 months later. I finally got enough of the drugs out of my system to think & process things more clearly & start snapping myself out of it. That weird haze just held on & on. But the longer I was home, focusing on normal life things, the more clear I got. It was hard because I was dealing with the infusions & RA. It was like everything required a Dr, or fixing something else. It took me another year to get it together enough to file for disability.
Try to stop focusing on how strange you feel. It's hard to shake, I know. Your mind just drifts there, especially when someone is mentioning it. Try to see & take note of the normal things around you, & routine things during the day. Focus hard on those things & really SEE them. Be involved in them. Especially when you start to drift back.

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[DavidOck]

but I tried to go completely without tranqs today. What I did was screw myself up. I normally take 1 in the am and 1 in the evening. I went completely without this am and started really feeling weird. Who'd of thunk it. Didn't think it would bother me at all. Wrong I felt so weird at 1 in the afternoon I had to take 1 and it worked fine. It's way worse then the pain meds. I'll hav to find another method for sure.This little fall really messed me up. I finally start my PT tomorrow. This shoulder is really holding me back Gotta get it loosened up and get some strength back in it. It definately is true the older you get the longer it takes to get things working right Can't afford too many more of these mishaps for sure. I don't feel like I'm going to be right for quite a while.

Maybe stay on the regular schedule, at least until after you talk to your PCP?

Hope the PT is effective, and remember that it WILL take some time. Gotta keep at it, and you'll get there.

 

[CasketWeaver]

I've been crazy. Lately, my anger and my anxiety has gotten out of control. To say I've spiraled into madness is an understatement. I'm just fed up with being fed up. We got bad news here in my state and then of course, pile on the crappy job situation + home life stress + sleepless nights + ... the list goes on, and I went from being a fairly polite and laid back guy to wanting to bite peoples faces off the last couple weeks. The girlfriend is even saying "you're always mad lately...". I told her this morning, don't think that way and stop telling me I'm in a perpetual state of being ...... off. It's simply not true. If I just had enough time to decompress and unload my agitation at the right people, in the right places, and at the right times, I'd be fine. I do feel though, that I'm judging most of the people around me as if they're Taliban fighters. And in most situations, I'd be correct.

 

[WhiteHighlights]

I've been crazy. Lately, my anger and my anxiety has gotten out of control. To say I've spiraled into madness is an understatement. I'm just fed up with being fed up. We got bad news here in my state and then of course, pile on the crappy job situation + home life stress + sleepless nights + ... the list goes on, and I went from being a fairly polite and laid back guy to wanting to bite peoples faces off the last couple weeks. The girlfriend is even saying "you're always mad lately...". I told her this morning, don't think that way and stop telling me I'm in a perpetual state of being ...... off. It's simply not true. If I just had enough time to decompress and unload my agitation at the right people, in the right places, and at the right times, I'd be fine. I do feel though, that I'm judging most of the people around me as if they're Taliban fighters. And in most situations, I'd be correct.

Take deep breaths (I know, easy to say). Based on my reading of your posts over time in other threads, this is not who you are. I felt deja vu as your post echoed my experience last year. I was caught in the cycle of high stress+lack of sleep = anger and anxiety. I could make a cranky 2 year old who needed a nap look like an angel. Yup, it was ugly and an awful time.

For me, lack of sleep was the key. If you can, make yourself a priority and find a way to get a few more Zzzs. There will still be idiots and stress around you. A bit of sleep made it possible to deal with the idiots or decide to ignore them (which I do for a few poisonous people). It's very hard and I still work at it.

Get help if you need it. My PCP prescribed some drugs that I used for a short time to help sleep and deal with the anxiety (Ambien did not work for me). She also gave me the option of talking to a social worker to get additional support.

We're here when you need to unload. Hugs to you too coz sometimes that's the best medicine.

 

[CasketWeaver]

Take deep breaths (I know, easy to say). Based on my reading of your posts over time in other threads, this is not who you are. I felt deja vu as your post echoed my experience last year. I was caught in the cycle of high stress+lack of sleep = anger and anxiety. I could make a cranky 2 year old who needed a nap look like an angel. Yup, it was ugly and an awful time.

For me, lack of sleep was the key. If you can, make yourself a priority and find a way to get a few more Zzzs. There will still be idiots and stress around you. A bit of sleep made it possible to deal with the idiots or decide to ignore them (which I do for a few poisonous people). It's very hard and I still work at it.

Get help if you need it. My PCP prescribed some drugs that I used for a short time to help sleep and deal with the anxiety (Ambien did not work for me). She also gave me the option of talking to a social worker to get additional support.

We're here when you need to unload. Hugs to you too coz sometimes that's the best medicine.

Yeah mine is just - I'm feeling left out a lot of times on things. We had a talk in the car ride home about what I'm feeling, and I said frankly, I feel as if I'm being overlooked or not being heard. Which adds to my aggressive behavior. Not being able to speak up makes me agitated. Not being listened to or even remotely understood adds to the agitation. Then to really cause the fire to explode - I think is the lack of sleep. I've been crashing earlier and earlier as the days go by. Meaning my exhaustion is caught up to me. I am breathing. Trying to stay calm. Just having a talk with her tonight did wonders to slow down that fuse that's burning. I know in due time maybe medications will have a different effect on me than they did before, and that's why I told my counselor "Maybe it's time to get drugged up again...". I feel like the inside of my head is housing a smoking crater right now. Like, I don't know how to explain it. But I feel very off lately. Have been for a couple weeks now. I know where some of it comes from. The rest is just residual damage from past things. Get blown up a few hundred times, you'll know what I'm talking about. LOL! Kidding, don't do it Willis!

 

[DavidOck]

We had a talk in the car ride home about what I'm feeling,

Great first step. She's your partner in this mess we call life, she can't help what she doesn't know about.

 

[2legsshrt]

I agree with all of you. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells at times. I don't want Ginny to be ...... off with me so I need to watch what I say. Well I finally started physical therapy today and she is coming again tomorrow. Nothing really strenuous to start but enough for me at the present.

Sometimes it seems that no matter what I say she get ...... at me. I don't think she understands what it is like to be in a nursing home for a month. Everything is done for you but not necessarily the way you want it done, if you understand what I mean. I really think I should have stayed in there for at least 2 more weeks. If they would have had their way it would have been at least another month and it probably would've been right. I just don't feel like I should be home yet, she would agree also I'm pretty sure. I just don't know how to act around here any more. I feel sort of out of place. Very strange way to feel in your own house. But you know how you feel when you want out even tho you really don't belong out

 

[CasketWeaver]

I agree with all of you. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells at times. I don't want Ginny to be ...... off with me so I need to watch what I say. Well I finally started physical therapy today and she is coming again tomorrow. Nothing really strenuous to start but enough for me at the present.

Sometimes it seems that no matter what I say she get ...... at me. I don't think she understands what it is like to be in a nursing home for a month. Everything is done for you but not necessarily the way you want it done, if you understand what I mean. I really think I should have stayed in there for at least 2 more weeks. If they would have had their way it would have been at least another month and it probably would've been right. I just don't feel like I should be home yet, she would agree also I'm pretty sure. I just don't know how to act around here any more. I feel sort of out of place. Very strange way to feel in your own house. But you know how you feel when you want out even tho you really don't belong out

Oh yeah man, I get the feeling oh so well. It's like in your mind you know "This is my house, I belong here..." and then there's a faint voice in the deepest recesses of your mind that says "You don't belong here, get out!" Or if you're anything like me, it's flip-flopped. The voice of reason is the one in the deepest recesses and the one irrational is at the forefront of all things.

 

[Iffy]

I've been crazy. Lately, my anger and my anxiety has gotten out of control. To say I've spiraled into madness is an understatement. I'm just fed up with being fed up. We got bad news here in my state and then of course, pile on the crappy job situation + home life stress + sleepless nights + ... the list goes on, and I went from being a fairly polite and laid back guy to wanting to bite peoples faces off the last couple weeks. The girlfriend is even saying "you're always mad lately...". I told her this morning, don't think that way and stop telling me I'm in a perpetual state of being ...... off. It's simply not true. If I just had enough time to decompress and unload my agitation at the right people, in the right places, and at the right times, I'd be fine. I do feel though, that I'm judging most of the people around me as if they're Taliban fighters. And in most situations, I'd be correct.

Up your nic,,,?

 

[Janet H]

Yeah mine is just - I'm feeling left out a lot of times on things. We had a talk in the car ride home about what I'm feeling, and I said frankly, I feel as if I'm being overlooked or not being heard. Which adds to my aggressive behavior. Not being able to speak up makes me agitated. Not being listened to or even remotely understood adds to the agitation. Then to really cause the fire to explode - I think is the lack of sleep. I've been crashing earlier and earlier as the days go by. Meaning my exhaustion is caught up to me. I am breathing. Trying to stay calm. Just having a talk with her tonight did wonders to slow down that fuse that's burning. I know in due time maybe medications will have a different effect on me than they did before, and that's why I told my counselor "Maybe it's time to get drugged up again...". I feel like the inside of my head is housing a smoking crater right now. Like, I don't know how to explain it. But I feel very off lately. Have been for a couple weeks now. I know where some of it comes from. The rest is just residual damage from past things. Get blown up a few hundred times, you'll know what I'm talking about. LOL! Kidding, don't do it Willis!

Might that be a clue to what might help?

I agree with all of you. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells at times. I don't want Ginny to be ...... off with me so I need to watch what I say. Well I finally started physical therapy today and she is coming again tomorrow. Nothing really strenuous to start but enough for me at the present.

Sometimes it seems that no matter what I say she get ...... at me. I don't think she understands what it is like to be in a nursing home for a month. Everything is done for you but not necessarily the way you want it done, if you understand what I mean. I really think I should have stayed in there for at least 2 more weeks. If they would have had their way it would have been at least another month and it probably would've been right. I just don't feel like I should be home yet, she would agree also I'm pretty sure. I just don't know how to act around here any more. I feel sort of out of place. Very strange way to feel in your own house. But you know how you feel when you want out even tho you really don't belong out

Patrick, Ginny is already ...... about what's happening to her and also worrying about you so of course she's going to have a short fuse. She may not understand what it's like to be in a nursing home for a month, but you can't understand what it's like to have her diagnosis. To make the most of whatever time you have together you need to focus on your blessings no matter how small. You should be able to come up with at least 5 of them every day and congratulate and even reward yourself if you come up with even more. Meanwhile, let your doc know how you're feeling mentally. It could be due to a medication so an adjustment might be a simple fix.

 

[CasketWeaver]

Might that be a clue to what might help?



Patrick, Ginny is already ...... about what's happening to her and also worrying about you so of course she's going to have a short fuse. She may not understand what it's like to be in a nursing home for a month, but you can't understand what it's like to have her diagnosis. To make the most of whatever time you have together you need to focus on your blessings no matter how small. You should be able to come up with at least 5 of them every day and congratulate and even reward yourself if you come up with even more. Meanwhile, let your doc know how you're feeling mentally. It could be due to a medication so an adjustment might be a simple fix.

The things is even though her and I spoke about what's been going on, that doesn't resolve the issues at hand. As I stated before, the fuse is burning, and it's burning quickly. It's only a matter of time before I detonate. She's beginning to listen though and she knows the source of my frustration. Between these ears and in the recesses of the mind a war rages on and it keeps me awake at night. Not to mention, the job is causing me to bite my tongue, really really hard. And of course, her teenage son. Some days he's alright, other days, I just want to slap him upside the head... with a cast iron frying pan - in hopes of kick starting his common sense. He's 16 - almost 17 in May, never worked a day in his life. Always has an excuse as to why he can't get his damn chores done. Yet, as soon as he walks in, he remembers to fire up his Playstation or his iPad and watch youtube. Not to mention he's made a couple remarks that have made me want to ball up my fist and hammer him into the cement like a damn nail.

I promise you, if this is our future that's going to take over - we're screwed. Literally, screwed.

 

[Kenna]

I've been crazy. Lately, my anger and my anxiety has gotten out of control. To say I've spiraled into madness is an understatement. I'm just fed up with being fed up. We got bad news here in my state and then of course, pile on the crappy job situation + home life stress + sleepless nights + ... the list goes on, and I went from being a fairly polite and laid back guy to wanting to bite peoples faces off the last couple weeks. The girlfriend is even saying "you're always mad lately...". I told her this morning, don't think that way and stop telling me I'm in a perpetual state of being ...... off. It's simply not true. If I just had enough time to decompress and unload my agitation at the right people, in the right places, and at the right times, I'd be fine. I do feel though, that I'm judging most of the people around me as if they're Taliban fighters. And in most situations, I'd be correct.

It's hard to get out of that mindset, especially when you aren't getting enough rest. Adjusting to being a first time parent is stressful all by itself. You can drop by here when you need to decompress. Or pm & just visit!

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[Kenna]

Yeah mine is just - I'm feeling left out a lot of times on things. We had a talk in the car ride home about what I'm feeling, and I said frankly, I feel as if I'm being overlooked or not being heard. Which adds to my aggressive behavior. Not being able to speak up makes me agitated. Not being listened to or even remotely understood adds to the agitation. Then to really cause the fire to explode - I think is the lack of sleep. I've been crashing earlier and earlier as the days go by. Meaning my exhaustion is caught up to me. I am breathing. Trying to stay calm. Just having a talk with her tonight did wonders to slow down that fuse that's burning. I know in due time maybe medications will have a different effect on me than they did before, and that's why I told my counselor "Maybe it's time to get drugged up again...". I feel like the inside of my head is housing a smoking crater right now. Like, I don't know how to explain it. But I feel very off lately. Have been for a couple weeks now. I know where some of it comes from. The rest is just residual damage from past things. Get blown up a few hundred times, you'll know what I'm talking about. LOL! Kidding, don't do it Willis!

It's great you could talk together! That's the place to start!

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