Monday, September 13, 2010
RUSH: You know, John Boehner and a lot of smokers are actually funding children's health care programs. I have made this point throughout the whole period of time that there have been attacks on smoking. At some point, you know, we keep raising taxes on tobacco products and the money is going to what? It's going to things that people consider seriously important. Children's health care plans, education, and what have you. So what if we were really serious about eliminating smoking? What happens if we have a 100% successful campaign to get everybody to quit smoking? Do you realize the number of government programs that would be funded with zero? You'd be stunned.
Now, nicotine is the most addictive drug on the planet. Nobody has a pleasant first experience with it, unlike most other drugs. Have you ever seen somebody take their first inhale of a cigarette? They have a coughing spasm and they vow never to ever do it again. Just like somebody who gets drunk and throws up, they vow never ever to do it again -- and within minutes they're back at it. Well, it's the same thing with people that smoke cigarettes. You get started and it's a very addictive drug. So totally wiping it out would defund... I've said in a half-serious way numerous times, "Smokers deserve medals because they are risking their own lives for the children. They're funding children's health programs," and of course that impeccable logic is met with the usual derision. But stop and think if we were ever really successful and ask yourself if government really does want to eliminate smoking. The product remains legal. It's a cash cow for lawyers; it's a cash cow for states; it is a cash cow for federal governments and agencies. There's no way they're gonna ever make tobacco illegal.
So when moralists like Bob Schieffer come along they gain a lot credit for compassion by suggesting we do everything we can to make people stop smoking, but the people that are putting taxes on cigarettes and making all these anti-smoking cigarette PSAs are not really serious about it. If they were, we'd ban the product just as we've banned other things we don't want people to do and we'd start chasing people who do it. There was a lot less anger out there when people smoked. I'll tell you something, I recently discovered these electronic cigarettes. I occasionally puff one here with the Dittocam on and I get people saying, "I can't believe you've succumbed! I thought you quit cigarettes. Oh, no, what have you done?" They're electronic. There's no tobacco in these things. They're purely electronic. Here, you can watch on the Dittocam. This is an apple-flavored electronic cigarette. (interruption) What are you smirking at, Dawn?
I have a little story here. Inside this green what looks like the filter, that's where the nicotine is in a liquid. There's an atomizer in there and the long part that looks like the cigarette itself is a battery. And when you start sucking on this thing, the atomizer creates water vapor. It looks like smoke. It's fun. You know what I love to do? I love whipping one of these things out in an elevator. Folks, you know me. I love irritating the status quo. I love irritating the politically correct. It is really fun to whip one of these things out at a bar. It doesn't take long before the manager comes up, "Mr. Limbaugh, there have been some complaints. We really have a no smoking policy here at such-and-such bar. We do."
I said, "It's not a cigarette. Here, look," and I demonstrate it. "Here, let me blow this in your face."
So I suck on the thing, I blow it in their face and they actually go, "Oooh, that does smell kinda like vanilla. Smells kind of like chocolate or apple," and they smile and they go away.
And it happens more often than not the guy comes back and says, "Mr. Limbaugh, you're still upsetting people."
"Why?"
"Well, it looks like you're smoking a cigarette, and it's making them uncomfortable."
"Well, why? It's not hurting them."
"I know, but would you please just not do it? Smoking's not allowed."
"I'm not smoking. I'm water-vaporing. It's no different if you put a vaporizer with Vick's VapoRub in it here on your bar."
"Well, Mr. Limbaugh, I understand, but some of our..."
So I look around, "Who are these nattering nabobs?"
I can spot 'em in an instant. I can spot the people shooting daggers at me. I know who they are, and you know what they're upset about? What do you think they're upset about, Brian? They're upset that I'm enjoying it. They are upset that I'm having a good time. The fact that there are no carcinogens; the fact that there's no odor; the fact that there's nothing offensive about it other than the way it looks to them doesn't matter to them. They still want to wade in there and stop me from doing it.
By the way, guess who's trying to put these people out of business? There's a bunch of different manufacturers and sellers of the electronic cigarette, and the big pharmaceuticals are lining up against them. The FDA is now going to conduct hearings on this and whether or not it's feasible, whether it's healthy. They're going to try to find some health concerns here with water vapor. But it's all because they're cheaper than cigarettes. With the taxes on cigarettes now, they're cheaper than cigars. They're cheaper than Nicorette gum. They're cheaper than the patch, depending on how you use 'em. But there's no tobacco tax on 'em. So you see my whole point with this is, for somebody trying to quit smoking, the electronic cigarette's a good way to do it.
And they don't really want that because there's no tax revenue with these things. I guarantee you, if they find a way to attach equivalent taxes to tobacco taxes to the electronic cigarette, everybody would be fine with it. I guarantee you. I don't know if Indian reservations are in the e-cigarette market or not, 'cause they don't charge any sales taxes. They don't have to charge sales taxes on their cigarettes. I don't know. I don't know if you can buy an e-cig on a reservation or not. I've not actually tried. I just find all this moralizing, all this proselytizing, all this I'm-better-than-you stuff
BREAK TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: You know, that's right. You go to a ballpark anywhere in public and somebody lights up a joint, nobody says a word. Nobody says a word because nobody wants to be thought of as a narc. But you let somebody light up a cigarette and 49,000 people will have a conniption fit. It's true. It's true. Not one person will care about a joint. They may say, "Can you believe somebody is smoking a joint?" but nobody will call the authorities. But somebody will light up a Marlboro and all hell breaks loose.
Have you seen these DirecTV commercials? These DirecTV commercials are fabulous. This is when the cops are allowed to Taser people. In the one I saw yesterday a waitress... There are some guys in her diner who are just enjoying the hell out of themselves. They're watching DirecTV. They're watching the NFL Sunday Ticket on their iPads and their mobile devices at their table and they're just having the greatest time and they're enjoying themselves, and the waitress at this place just can't stand it that they're enjoying themselves. So she puts dirty dishwater into a pitcher of iced tea and then stirs it up with her fingers and takes it over and serves them. Of course they're clueless, but this is her way of getting even with people having a good time, because they're watching their favorite football teams wherever they want because they have DirecTV Sunday Ticket.
The reason I think that ad is good is because it illustrates that there are just some people, liberals in this country, who do not want anybody to enjoy themselves. Nobody's going to have a good time, not when there's so much suffering and not when there's so much economic turmoil and angst, and people having a good time, especially people who may not be suffering from economic angst, I mean obviously if you can afford the NFL Sunday Ticket on your mobile device and go to a diner when the football games are on and watch with your buddies at a restaurant rather than have to go to the stadium, sure, a lot of people are going to be mad at you. So kudos to DirecTV for putting that in the ad.
